Submission –Part II

Ephesians 5:21-6:9

July 22, 2007

[Prayer]

Today’s message is from Ephesians 5:21-6:9, the same as it was last week. This is the second part. It’s still about submission, which is still something most of us don’t do very well.

Remember as we read the passage that it’s the word of God that we are reading, not the word of men. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man (or woman) of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Tim. 3:16, 17)

Also, as always, I exhort all of you to read and to study your Bibles every day. The word of God is your spiritual food. Without it you will starve to death.

Now let’s read the passage. We’ll read the entire passage as we did last week about wives and husbands, children and parents and slaves and masters. Last week I spoke mostly about wives and husbands. This week I’m going to speak about children and parents. (I was going to speak about slaves and masters too, but decided that the message would be too long, so it’s just children and parents.) So, let’s read Ephesians 5:21-6:9:

^{21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives and Husbands
^{22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. ²⁴Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
^{25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— ³⁰for we are members of his body. ³¹“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” ³²This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. ³³However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Children and Parents
^{6:1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ²“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
^{4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Slaves and Masters
^{5Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. ⁶Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. ⁷Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, ⁸because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.
^{9And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him. (Ephesians 5:21-6:9 –NIV)

The first verse of the passage, chapter 5, verse 21, says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Last week I talked about submission in general before I talked about husbands and wives. Before I go on to children and parents, I’m going to review what I said last week about submission.

Submission is the opposite of rebellion. True submission is more an attitude of the heart and mind than it is an outward action. Rebellion comes from pride—nobody’s going to tell me what to do! Pride is the sin of the devil. Pride and rebellion are completely self-centered. Submission comes through humility. With the attitude of submission, you put the interests of others above your own interest. Jesus was (and is) humble. He didn’t come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. He submitted to God the father and still does. He submitted to his own parents, too, while he was on earth.

When we submit to one another, we accept instruction and correction from each other in humility. The word of God says, “Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” But it also says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Husbands, do you accept instruction or correction from your wife? (And that’s accept, as opposed to tune out or blast away, instruction or correction from your wife.) God’s teaching is that we have humility toward one another.

The word that’s translated submit in the New Testament can be used in either the active or passive sense. In the active sense it means to cause to submit. It is generally translated as to subject or something similar. When used in the passive sense it is generally translated as simply to submit. The implication is that you cause yourself to submit.

And the significant thing about this active and passive use of the word that’s translated submit is that it’s only used in the active sense, to cause to submit, only in reference to God. People are never told to cause anyone to submit, but rather are told to submit to others. (Of course we can and do sometimes force others to do things they don’t want to do. Sometimes it’s necessary. But, when someone is forced to do what he or she doesn’t want to do, it won’t be with an attitude of submission.)

Submission is ultimately to God. You submit to human authority because you submit to God and trust that what he says is good to do really is good to do. You trust in his wisdom and goodness. In learning to submit to human authority—in learning to submit to each other—we are learning to submit to God. We are practicing trusting God.

Finally, God’s authority supercedes human authority—human authority that he has established. (It’s God who establishes human authority.) But, you obey God above men..

Now let’s go on to today’s part of the passage. Let’s look at chapter 6, verses 1, 2 and 3:

^{1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ²“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:1-3 –NIV)

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Before I talk about this part of the passage, I’m going to quote something that someone wrote about our present-day situation—about the relationship between children and parents.

Perhaps there has never been such a day as ours for lawlessness on the part of children and a reckless disregard for parental instruction. In too many houses the children’s word is law. There is little respect for parents. The revolt of American youth has caused the breakdown of many homes. Since the family is the strength of the church and of the state, a fresh study of respective rights and reciprocal responsibilities in the home demands the attention of Christians everywhere.¹

Things are pretty bad these days, aren’t they? ...much worse than they used to be? However, guess what. What I quoted was published 50 years ago in 1957. I had just graduated from being a rebellious teenager at that time. And do you know what? If children had been obedient to their parents 1,900 and some years ago, the apostle Paul—God speaking through the apostle Paul—wouldn’t have had to include today’s verses in his letter.

And do you know something else? These commands are directed to the children? Paul didn’t say, “Parents, teach your children to obey,” he said, “Children obey your parents.” This is for children who can read Paul’s letter or, at least listen to it being read and understand what is being said. For most of the people who would read this letter—certainly those in Ephesus—Greek, the language in which it was originally written, would have not been their native language. It would have been a second language. People used Greek to communicate with people in other regions who didn’t speak their local language. These verses don’t just apply to young children!

I believe these verses are for all children. They apply to children of all ages. The Greek word translated children doesn’t just refer to young children. It refers to children of all ages—adult children, too. (As a matter of fact, it refers to descendants. So, children obey your parents could also be interpreted as grandchildren obey your grand parents.)

These days I’ve heard and read a lot of Christian teaching on raising children. (That’s what they used to call it—raising children. Now they call it parenting.) Most of the experts tell you that you have to teach your kids all that they need to know and do before they are 18 because after that they will be on their own and you will have no more input into their lives. I don’t think that’s Biblical!

We (Mooma and I) went to a seminar on marriage and families a few years ago. A husband and wife team were the speakers. They also handed out a workbook published by the organization that was putting on the seminars. It included all the points that were supposed to be covered by the speakers.

At one point in the seminar, I read the following statement in the workbook. This was addressed to married couples. It said, “Don’t ever accept any money from your parents. They are trying to control you.” That statement sounded to me like it was coming from a rebellious heart.

We are told by our Father God to obey our parents, to obey our masters (or employers, these days), to obey our church leaders and to obey those in authority in the government. Yet, I’ve heard it said many times that if someone tells you what you should do, even for your own good, that person is controlling. The implication is that being controlling is evil and you should resist it. 狢 know parents (and people in general) can be domineering and overbearing. But, should we always consider it evil if someone tells us what we should do? Certainly not! (And incidentally, although the people who were presenting the seminar covered virtually all the material in the workbook, they skipped the part that instructed you not to accept any money from your parents because they were trying to control you.)

Now, having said what I have about obedience, there are some cases where the command to obey our parents (or grandparents) is superceded by other commands. I’m going to read from Genesis 2:22, 23 and 24. This is what it says.

^{22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
^{23The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman’, for she was taken out of man.”

²⁴For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:22-24 –NIV)

We are to obey our parents, even as adults. But when we are married, our first responsibility is to our immediate family. We must also obey others who have authority over us—those whom God has established. But, ultimately, we must obey God first rather than men. If parents or husbands or church leaders or bosses or those in authority over us in the government tell us to disobey God, we must obey God rather than men.

Verses 2 and 3 of chapter 6 say:

^{2“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2, 3 –NIV)

To honor is the same word in Greek as to esteem. It means to place a value on. In this case the implication is to place a very high value. God is telling us to treat our parents as very precious. Our parents are his creation. He brought us into the world through them. (Some children may have adoptive parents or stepfathers, but the command is the same. How do I know? Jesus’s father was really a stepfather, but Jesus submitted to him. He is our example!)

God also knows that our parents are far from perfect—some very far from perfect, in fact. But we must still consider them as being very precious—honor them.

Also, our responsibility to our parents doesn’t end when we leave their home or get married. Jesus rebuked the Jewish leaders for telling people to dedicate whatever they might have used to help their parents to God and then to do nothing to help their parents. (I think they were telling them that if they made a contribution to the temple ministry, they wouldn’t have to support their parents in their old age. Jesus told them that they were nullifying God commandment to honor our fathers and mothers with their teachings. (Mark 7:10-13)

Verses 2 and 3 say, “Honor your father and mother that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” I wasn’t sure how to interpret that—that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. It’s a paraphrase of the fifth commandment. (The commandment says, “Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” –Deut. 5:16) The most obvious interpretation is that it applies to each of us individually—that if we honor our fathers and mothers, we will live long and have minimal trouble during our lives. One of commentaries that I looked at used the Biblical examples of Samson and Absalom. Both of them disrespected their parents and both had trouble and both died young and violently. I don’t have any statistics to show whether or not people who honor their fathers and mothers have long lives and little trouble, so I’ll just assume that the obvious interpretation is what Paul meant.

Now let’s look at verse 4. It says:

^{4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 –NIV)

This is just one verse, but it says a lot. For one thing, it says that fathers have the primary responsibility for teaching their children. It’s a father’s responsibility to teach the children not only to obey him, but also to obey their mother. (Wait ‘til your father gets home!) Fathers are to bring their children up in the fear and instruction of the Lord. Fathers are to teach their children to be obedient so that they may grow up with an attitude of obedience to others in authority and ultimately with an attitude of obedience toward God. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

In case you don’t think this is a serious matter, let me quote some more proverbs:

Proverbs 13:24: 贌e who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Do you hate your son—or do you love him!? If you love him, be careful to discipline him. (I believe that, although it says son, this applies to daughters, as well.)

Proverbs 19:18: 痃iscipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Do you want to kill your son, or do you want to save his life? Discipline your son!

Proverbs 22:15: 硓olly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13, 14: 痃o not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

Again, do you want to save your son’s soul, or do you want his soul to be destroyed in hell?

Proverbs 29:15: The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.

and

Proverbs 29:17: Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.

Would you like your son to be a delight to your soul? Would you like your daughter to be a delight to your soul? Discipline them!

These proverbs speak about the rod, too. Timeouts and groundings may be helpful when your kids are older, but the word of God says the rod, not timeouts!

I read where some liberal psychologist said that if you spank you child, he will lose respect for you because you’ve lost your temper. (Do they think that you can’t spank your child unless you lose your temper?) The word of God says that if you spare the rod, your son will lose respect for you, but if you discipline him, he will give you peace and be a delight to your soul. Do you believe the word of God or the psychologists? I think the same liberal psychologists say that if you teach you children to be humble and obedient and not to be rebellious, you will have destroyed their personalities. (They think their personalities are what we call the flesh. I suppose they would also think there is something seriously wrong with us because be think we should submit to God.)

So, do you think it’s important to bring your children up in the training and instruction of the Lord? (Training in the NIV, by the way, is discipline and includes punishment for wrongdoing.)

Suppose when you stand before Jesus he asks you, “How did your son turn out,” or “How did your daughter turn out?” How will you answer him? We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ. (2 Cor. 10:5)

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” People say, “Well, do the best you can. If your son or daughter does not turn out the way you would like, you did the best you could, so don’t blame yourself.” That’s not what the word of God says! (However, don’t despair. It says, “When he is old he will not depart from it.” Job was a righteous man before God. But he talked about the sins of his youth. I’ll bet his father trained him in the way he should go and when he was old, he did not depart from it (even though he might have when he was young). The way we should go, by the way, is the way of ‘trust and obey’!

Verse 4 says, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children...” The apostle Paul says in Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Children become exasperated and embittered when the punishment or correction does not fit the crime. We have to be consistent in our discipline and correction. If you give a severe punishment for a small infraction and no punishment at all for something more serious, your children will become discouraged and embittered. You have to be consistent. And you must not be either too harsh or too lenient.

Above all, they must know that you love them. And saying you love them over and over will not do it. You have to show it by what you do.

And one more thing: We teach much more by example than by what we say. I meant to point that out when I talked about husbands and wives, too. I think I forgot. So, husbands remember, examples speak louder than words. And parents remember that, too.

Well, as I said when I started out, I was going to talk about slaves and masters today, too, but the message would have been quite a bit longer. 䒷o I’ll do that next week (unless Tom wants to do it).

In summary, God is almighty and he is good. He is completely trustworthy.

Jesus is Lord and he is our Savior.

And finally, we must do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than ourselves. Each of us must look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others. Our attitudes should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. (Philippians 2:3-11)

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.

[Prayer]}}}}}}}}}}}}

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