[Prayer]
Today’s message is from 1 Corinthians 7:8-40. It’s part 2 of the message on marriage—the reasons for marrying or not marrying. Two weeks ago we covered verses 8 through 24. Today it will be verses 25 through 40 (as I promised two weeks ago).
This passage (and, in fact, all of chapter 7) is an answer to some questions the Corinthians had about marriage. (The apostle Paul says back in verse 1, “Now for the matters you wrote about...”) We don’t know what the questions were, but we do have the answers. There is enough detail that we can learn quite a bit by just looking at the answers. (And I might point out that it’s the amount of detail that God wanted us to have at this point in time, since it is he who inspired Paul’s writing.)
So, remember, as always, as we read the passage, that we are reading the word of God. The word of God tells us who God is (the Creator of all things), who we are (his creation), what his purpose for us is (to glorify him and to enjoy him forever, according to the Westminster Catechism) and what he expects of us.
So, also remember as always, to read and study the word of God day by day. There is nothing more important than knowing God. (If you want to know about God, don’t just listen to or read what other people say about him. Read and study his word.
Now let’s read today’s part of the passage—1 Corinthians 7:25-40:
25Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.
39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 7:25-40)
Before I go on, I want to summarize very briefly the first part of the passage. Paul—the Holy Spirit speaking through Paul—says, clear back in verse 1, “It’s good for a man not to marry.” Tom talked about it three weeks ago. I talked about it two weeks ago. My comment was that staying single and celibate is not a general rule. God ordained marriage and families. From the time he created men and women, he commanded them to be fruitful and fill the earth. (And, by the way, in spite of what some people are saying, the earth is not anything like “full” yet. Someone has estimated that the earth can support 50 billion people.)
The statement “It is good for man not to marry” must have applied to a specific situation that the Corinthians were asking about (the “matters you wrote about” as Paul says in verse 1). Paul mentioned the “present crisis”, apparently the specific situation, in today’s part of the passage in verse 26. After saying that it was good not to marry in verse 1, he went on to say that if you can’t control yourself, to avoid sexual immorality, it’s OK to marry. It’s not a sin.
Further on in verses 17 through 24 Paul laid down the rule that we should remain in the situation we were in when we were called to be Christians. He made it much than just a rule about marriage. He talked about circumcision and uncircumcision. (If you were a Jew, you were not to try to become a Gentile. If you were a Gentile, you were not to try to become a Jew. If you were a slave, you were not to think that you needed to be free (but if you could obtain you freedom, to go for it). He said that the rule of remaining in the situation you were in when you were called was not just for the Corinthian church, but for all the churches. So, it’s for us, too. But, again, just as some are called to remain single when God’s general purpose is to marry, we are sometimes called to leave our present situation and to go somewhere else and do something else (for example, be a missionary half way around the world) to fulfill God’s purpose for us. Now let’s look at today’s part of the passage.
Listen while I read the first four verses, verses 25 through 28, again:
25Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. (1 Corinthians 7:25-28)
Paul says that he is answering their question about virgins (presumably women that have never married). But he goes on to talk about those who have been married. He says, “I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.” (So, don’t think that what Paul was saying carries less weight because he “has no command from the Lord”. Part of God’s mercy was through the Holy Spirit to make what Paul wrote to be the trustworthy word of God.)
“Because of the present crisis...”: We don’t know what it was. But there may have been persecutions. As far as marriage was concerned, Paul advised them to stay as they were. Maybe the crisis would pass.
Verse 27 says, “Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.” That’s what the NIV says. Let me give you a more accurate translation: “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife.” That’s from the NASB. All the other translations I looked at agree with it. The difference is that while the NIV says, “Are you unmarried?” the text literally says, “Are you released from a wife?” To be released from a wife, you have to have been married to a wife. Paul is talking to people who have either had wives who died or wives who had left them—maybe as unbelievers. In the first part of the passage Paul says that if an unbelieving wife is willing to stay, her believing husband must not divorce her (and the same for unbelieving husbands and believing wives). (verses 12 and 13) But if the unbelieving husband or wife does leave, you are not bound. And my comment is, if you are not bound, you are released. So the question is, “Are you released from a wife?”
Paul says that it’s better not to marry (at least in whatever situation the Corinthians were in) if you are released from a wife. But if the Corinthians chose to marry, they wouldn’t be sinning. But here’s the reason Paul gave that it was better not to marry: Those who married would face many troubles (literally, afflictions of the flesh) in this life.
Well, it’s not completely clear what Paul was talking about—troubles, afflictions of the flesh. But I’m reasonably sure that it was not about husbands and wives fighting with each other or divorce or threats of divorce or things of that nature. I believe that husbands and wives learning to live together in peace is part of God’s sanctification process. It’s not a reason to avoid marriage. Marriage is a close relationship. You have to learn to be unselfish. (I’d say that we haven’t learned that yet but that we are learning.)
You know, I (and a lot of other people) believe that Paul had been married and that his wife had died. Paul had apparently been a member of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish ruling council, before he became a Christian. (He said that he had voted to condemn Christians before his conversion. I presume that he had to be a member in order to vote.) According to what I have read, you had to be married to be a member of the Sanhedrin. So it seems very likely that Paul was married. I think that he not only had the joy of being married, but also the grief of having had his wife die. So he could talk about marriage from his own experience. The relationship between husband and wife is about the closest human relationship there is. In situations where there is sickness or other trouble, you worry much more about someone who is close to you than about someone you don’t know well.
Also, as I said, the “present crisis” could have been persecution, not sickness or death. I have not had any experience with persecution. But I think it would be much easier to be persecuted yourself than to see you wife or family members suffer.
Those who persecute Christians will attack them by attacking their family members. If you’ve read Foxe’s Book of Martyrs, there are many cases where wives or children were tortured or killed in order to get people to renounce Christ. That would really be hard to deal with. So, I think the trouble or afflictions Paul was talking about were because of the close relationship that husbands and wives have and not because they don’t have the close relationship that God intended them to have.
Let’s look at verses 29 through 31:
29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. (1 Corinthian 7:29-31)
Well, nothing in this present life is permanent. The time is short. We don’t know how long we will live in this present life. We don’t know when we will die or when Jesus might come back. We need to live as though we are expecting to leave this life at any time.
“From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none.” Jesus says that in the resurrection people won’t marry nor will they be given in marriage. (The Sadducees, who didn’t believe the dead were raised, were trying to test Jesus. They asked him about a hypothetical woman who had been married to each of seven brothers. They had all died. They asked Jesus whose wife she would be in the resurrection, a question they thought would prove that the dead wouldn’t be raised. Jesus told them that they were greatly mistaken because they didn’t know the Scriptures or the power of God—that people would not marry nor be given in marriage in the resurrection, but be like the angels in heaven.) Husbands and wives are for this life.
“Those who mourn should live as though they don’t and those who are happy as though they aren’t.” Does that mean that we aren’t supposed to show (or maybe even feel) any emotions? What do you think? I don’t think so. I think what Paul is telling us is that what God has in store for us in heaven is much better than anything we can have here. Any grief we can suffer here will pale in comparison with the blessings in heaven. And some of the grief we can suffer here can be very severe—think of pain and suffering and persecutions and torture. In the resurrection there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. (Rev. 21:4) And any happiness we can receive through the things of this world will pale in comparison with the blessings in heaven. “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Cor. 2:9)
And the things we buy—how much we love to hold onto them and think they are ours to keep forever. (And we do tend to think that way even though we may know better.) We love things—the things of this world—houses, cars, clothes (for some, but not me in this case), computers and gadgets (that’s me) and many other things of this world. We want to say that these things are ours—that we have control over them. But they are passing away. They’ll be gone. But what God has prepared for those who love him is much better.
Let’s look at verses 32 through 35:
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Well, the apostle Paul has told us (or the Corinthians, anyway) that if we have wives we should live as though we had none. (And, by the way, that has nothing to do with the old saying that if you drink too much it makes you see double and feel single.) Here’s the reason Paul has told us that if we are married we should live as though we were not. If you are married, you are concerned about how you can please your wife (or if you are a wife, about how you can please your husband) rather than about how you can please the Lord. Paul says that pleasing your wife is an affair of this world. And notice that he says that your interests are divided. So it is not a matter of pleasing the Lord less often than pleasing your wife (or husband), but of whether or not you are fully devoted to the Lord.
But, you know, this same apostle Paul who said these things... This same apostle Paul, being guided by the same Holy Spirit of God, says that we husbands are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy. Let me quote from Ephesians 5:25-33:
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33)
And this same apostle Paul also said to Titus, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:3-5)
Paul—the Holy Spirit speaking through Paul—says that if you are married, you are concerned about how you can please your husband or wife rather than how you can please the Lord. You are concerned about how you can please your husband or wife. There is a difference between loving your husband or wife and pleasing your husband or wife. Loving is never self-centered. You can try to please your wife to keep her from nagging you. You can please your wife even though you know what you are doing is not good for her. You can please your wife simply in the hope that she will return the favor. Loving is never self-centered. Pleasing can be and frequently is.
But, you know what, loving your wife or husband and your family is the Lord’s will and he will be pleased if you do it. You can both love your husband or wife and be fully devoted to the Lord! Amen!
Let’s look at verses 36, 37 and 38:
36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better. (1 Corinthians 7:36-38)
Well, who is the virgin? If you look at the NIV footnote, you’ll see that the translators give an alternate translation—that the virgin is your daughter and that you are not sure whether or not she should get married. The HCSB gives two additional alternate interpretations—that the virgin is your Levirate wife or a maybe celibate companion. (I wasn’t sure what a Levirate wife was, but in the Law of Moses, it’s your childless deceased brother’s widow that you are supposed to marry in order that she may bear a son who will be considered her deceased husbands offspring in order to keep his family line going. (If you didn’t follow that, you can look it up in the word of God—Deuteronomy 25:5 and 6. In any case, the Corinthians presumable knew what Paul meant, but I don’t and nobody else seems to either. The bottom line again is that you are free to marry or not to marry.
Let’s look at verses 39 and 40:
39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God. (1 Corinthians 7:39, 40)
Verse 39a, “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives” is a very important fact, or really, a command. It’s a repeat of what Paul said in verse 10—a woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives and Paul emphasized there that it was a direct command from the Lord.
And, you know, we very often cite 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?” to support telling people not to marry unbelievers. But in verse 39b Paul says it plainly, “She is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” (And I am confident that this doesn’t just apply to widows.)
In verse 40 Paul is telling us where what he has written is coming from: “I think that I too have the Spirit of God.” What we have in the Bible is the inspired word of God.
Well, let’s live this life in a way that’s pleasing to the Lord who died for us and rose from the dead. Let’s always look forward to the blessings that God has prepared for those who love him. Let’s not be concerned to much about the things of this world, but be fully devoted to the things of Christ. And I don’t think this is directly related to this passage, but there is some Scripture that came into my mind as I was finishing preparing this message and I want to read it. It’s from Ephesians 4:29 through 5:2:
4:29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 4:29-5:2)
Let’s do that, too.
[Prayer]