Dear Brothers and Sisters,

You are invited to come to the Wednesday evening prayer meeting and pray for the church (and other things -- 7:00 PM Wed., LHF time).

Text: Eph. 6:1-3

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' -- which is the first commandment with a promise -- 'that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.'"

Who are children? Who are parents? What does it mean to obey? What does it mean to obey IN THE LORD? Why is it right for children to obey their parents? What is the result of this obedience? Let's consider these questions on at a time.

First, who are children? We are all children. There is not one of us who isn't a child in the sense of the Greek word (teknon) Paul used for child in verse 1. We usually think of the word child as referring to someone that is in a particular age range -- older than a baby, but not yet a teenager or an adult. But there's a broader meaning, even in English. The word child simply means a son or a daughter. If you have ever had parents, you are a child of your parents. Also, the word child refers to a relationship. You cannot be a child without having parents. So all of us are children. But the word Paul used is even broader in meaning than the English word child. In this sense of the word he used, you are also a child of your grandparents -- and of your great-grandparents -- and ultimately, of Adam and Eve.

Now concerning parents, I don't think I need to say too much. Parents don't have to be biological parents, but can be adoptive parents or step parents. Not all of us are parents, but all of have or have had parents. And as I implied above, I believe what the apostle Paul is teaching in this passage would apply to grandparents, as well.

What does it mean to obey? It means to listen to, to heed, to do what someone else wants you to. To obey is the opposite of to disobey. There is nothing in between -- no third alternative.

A long time ago I heard a story that was told to illustrate the concept of obedience. Here it is:

Back in the nineteenth century, a man from Ohio bought some land in Kentucky. He wanted to start a farm there, so in the summer he sent his two sons down to get things started. He told them to clear some of the land and to put in foundations for the house and the barn, and also to dig the well. The man described the land to his sons and gave them the exact locations of the places he wanted them to put the foundations for the house and the barn and to dig the well. They put the foundations for the house and the barn in the places their father had told them, but they thought the location he gave them for the well was not so good. So they dug the well in a different place. Now the question is whether or not the two sons obeyed their father. You might say that they obeyed two out of three times. But the truth is that, in every case, they did exactly what THEY thought was good. So, you either obey or disobey. There's no in between.

Now Paul actually says that children must obey their parents IN THE LORD. What does it mean to obey in the Lord? First of all, what does IN mean? The word translated IN has a lot of meanings and is very context sensitive. It can mean AMONG, BY MEANS OF, THROUGH, and a number of other things. INSIDE OF as we usually think of the word IN as meaning in English is one of the less common meanings. Usually, when the exact meaning isn't clear, the translators simply translate the word as IN. In the case of the phrase IN THE LORD the translation THROUGH THE LORD would be pretty good -- children must obey their parents THROUGH THE LORD -- or maybe BECAUSE OF THE LORD. But, in any case, what's being expressed is that your obedience is through the relationship you have with the Lord. (I've also heard "Obey your parents in the Lord" interpreted as meaning "Obey your parents only if they are Christians. I don't think this is what Paul meant when he said, "Obey your parents in the Lord.")

Through your relationship with the Lord -- through the power of the Holy Spirit whom he has sent to be in you -- you can do something that sons and daughters don't naturally do -- obey their parents. (If it's not obvious that people don't naturally obey their parents, you can conclude it from the fact that the apostle Paul said, "Children, obey your parents." If it were a natural thing for people to obey their parents, Paul would not have needed to tell us to do it.) The Lord teaches us to obey and gives us power to do so. It's not a burden to obey any of God's commands "in the Lord." When you obey in the Lord the Holy Spirit gives you joy.

Even Jesus, though he was in very nature God -- or maybe because of the fact that he was in very nature God -- himself obeyed his parents. When Jesus was twelve years old, he and his family went to Jerusalem with friends and relatives for the Passover celebration. After the celebration was finished, thinking Jesus was with the party, they all started back home. After they had traveled for a day, they realized Jesus was not with them, so they went back to look for him. They found him in the temple courts talking to the teachers. Jesus's mother rebuked him for making them worry. But Jesus's answer was, "Why were you searching for me? Didn't you know that I had to be at my Father's house?" Then we are told that he went down to Nazareth with them and was OBEDIENT to them.

Also, when Jesus was just starting his public ministry he went to a wedding at Cana with his disciples. His mother was also there. When they ran out of wine, Jesus's mother told him about it. He answered, "Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come." It was not yet time for Jesus to publicly perform miraculous signs. Nevertheless his mother told the servants to do whatever he told them to do. Jesus then obeyed his mother and did the first of his miraculous signs. He turned the water into wine. His disciples put their faith in him.

So now that I've quoted the scripture, "Children obey your parents," and talked about it some, some of you could ask, "What if my father or my mother tell me to steal or to break some other commandment?" Well, of course, there's an order of authority that God has established. For example, when the apostles were forbidden by the Jewish leaders to teach or do anything in the name of Jesus, they answered, "We must obey God rather than men!" Both Peter and Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, tell us to obey the governing authorities. But the apostles, when there was a conflict, said that they had to obey God rather than men.

But what if you want to go and be a missionary to China, or some such place, and your parents tell you they want you to stay in Columbus. And then you tell them that Jesus said, "Go into all the world..." But they tell you that Columbus is part of the world and why don't you just "go into all of Columbus." What do you do? This is what you have to do. You have to pray earnestly for God to show you whether or not he is giving you direction through your parents. And you need to be very careful that your first desire is to obey God and not simply to be independent of your parents.

Also, when you marry, God says, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." I think that your relationship with your husband or wife is closer than your relationship with your parents and has first priority. But you must still honor your father and mother.

Now we come to the question, "Why is it right for children to obey their parents?" Paul says, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is RIGHT (righteous)." The reason Paul gives is not complicated. God has commanded us to honor our fathers and mothers. If we don't learn to obey our earthly fathers and mother whom we can see, how will we learn to obey our heavenly Father whom we can't see?

Now the last question. The last question is: "What is the result of this obedience?" Paul tells us that to honor your father and mother is the first commandment with a promise -- "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy a long life on earth." If you want to live to a ripe old age with a minimum of frustration, honor your father and mother. However, if you are disobedient to your parents, the apostle Paul puts you in a list of pretty bad sounding characters. According to Romans 1:29-31, "They have become filled with every kind of wickedness evil and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; They invent ways of doing evil; THEY DISOBEY THEIR PARENTS; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless." Paul says the wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against them.

But you are not under God's wrath. You are saved by his grace through the blood of Jesus who loved you and died for you. Therefore, I know you will honor you father and mother.

Our culture teaches that when you become an adult (18 years these days according to the law), you are supposed to become completely independent of your parents. Both children and parents are taught this. Even most Christian teachers that teach about family relationships say the same thing. You, as a parent are not allowed to even give your son or daughter advice. You have 18 years in which to teach them everything they need to know. After that, it's too late. The policy is "hands off." Otherwise you may be guilty of being a "controlling parent." Also, children are supposed to resist having too close a tie with their parents. I don't think that any of these ideas are according to the word of God.

I've been talking about the Church. The Church is about relationships -- relationships among Christians and between Christians and Christ who is our Lord and savior and who is the head of his body, the Church. This teaching about children and parents is also about relationships -- and if both children and parents are believers, it's also about the Church. Let's pray for God to give us wisdom in all these matters.

Come on Wednesday and pray for the Church. The Church is the overflowing abundance, the wealth beyond measure and the full and perfect nature of God who fulfills and completes everything in every way.

Grace and peace,
Dean Svoboda

PS: You can also bring you own prayer requests and pray for them with your brothers and sisters in Christ (i.e., with the Church). Bring your requests to God with thanksgiving and receive his peace.

PPS: Pass this invitation along to others in your household or to someone who doesn't have an e-mail address in the LHF directory